I’m not too sure whether we’ve met yet or indeed if you actually exist, but I just thought I’d take a moment on Valentine’s Day to tell you how I feel. When we eventually connect together you will be swept off your feet. On our anniversary I will bring you a rose for every year we’ve been together and on your birthday I will serve you breakfast in bed. If life provides us with enough financial support, I want to tour the world with you on my arm and me on yours. We will be happy forever.
There is however one clause. If you want as much as a heart shaped candle, cheap red card or expensive meal at some swanky place on the 14th February, the deal is off. You are obviously too easily swayed by the emotionally manipulative commercialism of Valentine’s Day. You are obviously not my soulmate.
All my love